“Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation?”
– Jane Austen (1775-1817)
English writer
When the strain of covering for every possible consequence of one’s behavior becomes too much for us, we are likely pulled by the counter-reaction–“Throw caution to the winds, indulge the moment!” It’s a tough psychological dance we attempt, as we try to tack the waters between rigidity and abandon, seeking to keep emotional balance.
Austen is writing about the concept (not yet articulated by the Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud–deemed the “father of psycho-analysis”) of “delaying gratification.” Austen suggests we choose the opposite of delay. She invites us to embrace life’s “carpe diem” opportunities–those “Seize the day” moments of letting down and going with what joy may be calling us in the Here and Now, despite our misgivings.
Yes, when we make the decision to choose our “wants” in any given situation, rather than our “needs,” we feed a different part of our being–both parts, legitimate and necessary to our wholeness. We are challenged to find a place for the expression of both impulses, each essential to our fullness, both needing to be kept in balance. Therein lies the rub.
To serve these opposite poles, the dance we do must be exquisite in its choreography–no over-the-edge wild swings, no bone-breaking disjointed moves–just a sometimes lyrical flow, a sometimes staccato beat, each living within a range of expression that honors our moods and margins. Clearly, such exquisite definition takes a great deal of practice, and the teaching of a Master. Along the way, we must cultivate the willingness to hear and to do that which keeps us balanced, content, and ultimately, fulfilled.
“Order” is still “Heaven’s first Law.” The wise will serve it.