“It makes perfect sense to me that people would want to be married. But for me, security is not knowing what’s going to happen. Because if I don’t know, it could be terrific.” Gloria Steinem, American feminist and writer
Well, Gloria…it could be terrific. But it could also be a grand disaster. The fact is, we never know. So, is there such a thing as “security?” Or is security merely an illusion? Years ago, when I was an out-of-work divorced mom, an older friend set about finding me a job. Any job! Imagine his shock and dismay when I turned down an offer from the colleague with whom he’d pleaded my case. “What are you thinking? You have a little boy to support!” My response? “I’m thinking that I want work in my field,” which at the time, was counseling. The office position our mutual acquaintance had kindly created for me, was something I had neither the skills nor the heart to undertake. My friend’s response? “Girl, you are the most independent poor person I know!” It wasn’t a compliment.
Yes, I am independent. I believe one’s only real security rests in the sure knowledge that whatever comes, one can handle it…not necessarily without stress or cost, but we can meet our challenges and keep our integrity. Later, examining the interchange with my therapist, he asked, “Bru, Is there a way for you to keep your integrity, without winding up on the breadline?”
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. At times, the “breadline” may be the exact place one needs to be in order to confirm, “I can make it through this darkness and come out again into the light.” Standing on that proverbial “breadline” as I did and coming back from that brink, assured me I had the “right stuff.” The experience also gave me trust in a dimension beyond that which I control. I came to know the mysterious unknown as benevolent, and to experience the perfect provision with which it answers one’s faith and willingness to succeed. Trust and see.